i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
