We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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