Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love having hate sex.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
