im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my liver is dry heaving
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
