Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
