last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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