Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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