No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
