I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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