What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
