Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
