I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
