So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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