i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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