I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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