porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
