he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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