You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
