So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
