Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
