I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
