She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
