and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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