All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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