im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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