yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
