So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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