I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
