yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
