Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
