Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
