I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
