I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
