Sponge bath it is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
