The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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