Just fell off a train. Bad.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
