If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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