A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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