Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
