Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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