these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
