there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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