what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
