Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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