Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
