WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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