I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
