I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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