Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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