wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
