can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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