I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
