It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
