If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
