if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
