why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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